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Practical Strategies to Work with Clients Who Struggle with a Harsh, Unrelenting Inner Critic
An out-of-control inner critic can keep clients frozen in fear and anxiety.
Over time, it can burn out their ambition, locking them into painful patterns of shame. Or harshly punish them when they fail to meet unattainable standards.
And when an inner critic turns toxic, it can leave a client powerless to make decisions and even unable to develop a true sense of self.
We thought this issue was so pervasive, touching over half of all clients, that we turned to the top experts in this space – 16 of them to be exact – and asked them how they work with a client’s inner critic. We took their sharpest insights and strategies to make. . .
How to Work with Clients Who Struggle with an Inner Critic
What’s Going On in the Brain When the Inner Critic is Active
Dan Siegel, MD Kelly McGonigal, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD
- It starts in the nervous system – the neurobiological path that can leave your client vulnerable to inner hostility
- The 4-step process for disrupting the brain patterns that flood a client with self-judgment
- How to negotiate with a critic when it’s driving your client into obsessive-compulsive activity
- A brain-savvy approach to help transform an inner critic into an ally for change
How to Neutralize the Power of an Inner Critic
Laurel Parnell, PhD Rick Hanson, PhD
- Why a client’s inner critic first appears (and how this can impact your attempt to remove it)
- How to work with toxic self-judgment that can alter a client’s sense of self
- The part of your approach that can affect the way a client relates to their most judgmental self
Helping Clients Break Free of the Inner Perfectionist
Pat Ogden, PhD Kelly McGonigal, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD Rick Hanson, PhD
- How a fear of failure can get internalized and bind a client to deep anxiety and despair
- How to help reduce the performance pressure that prevents hyper-achieving clients from experiencing joy
- One vital concession that can help a client finally cast off a domineering inner critic
Quieting the Toxic Inner Voice That Can Drive Shame
Shelly Harrell, PhD Rick Hanson, PhD
- How to engage a client’s critical self to reveal the core issue it fears most
- A crucial strategy for reducing the shame that gets triggered by the inner critic
- Why high-achieving people have a particularly hard time muting their self-critic
How to Work with the Inner Critic and Depression
Richard Schwartz, PhD Kelly McGonigal, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD
- The key question that can help disrupt the inner critic’s protective role
- Why certain inner critics will move clients into a shutdown state
- How to respond to an inner critic when it threatens the client with suicide
Expanding a Client’s Capacity to Live with Mistakes
Lynn Lyons, LICSW Terry Real, MSW, LICSW Rick Hanson, PhD
- How to reframe the way clients view mistakes to prevent the rise of an inner critic
- How to calm an inner critic that’s driving a client’s social anxiety
- One exercise to dismantle the “all or nothing” thinking that invites self-criticism
- How to work with a client’s inner critic when it prevents them from making a major life change
How to Help a Client Build Core Beliefs of Self-Worth
Christine Padesky, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD Joan Borysenko, PhD Rick Hanson, PhD
- An early intervention to quickly assess an inner critic’s strength
- The crucial role of the therapeutic relationship in helping clients develop empathy toward their inner critic
- A powerful strategy to help clients replace rigid negative thoughts with positive core beliefs
How to Break the Patterns That Sustain an Inner Critic
Ron Siegel, PsyD Rick Hanson, PhD Joan Borysenko, PhD
- How certain self-critical thoughts can become triggers for feelings of unlovability and hopelessness
- One shift in context to help clients stay grounded in the aftermath of bad decisions
- A two-part approach to help clients soften their inner critic’s defenses
One Missing Skill That Can Boost the Self-Critic’s Power
Michael Yapko, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD
- One aspect of depression that empowers a client’s inner critic
- Why some clients get stuck inside the space between achievement and perfection
- The main skill deficit that fosters a client’s anti-self (and how to reverse it)
- One intervention that can immediately render an inner critic powerless
How to Foster the Inner Nurturer
Rick Hanson, PhD Kelly McGonigal, PhD
- A common approach to an inner critic that could be under-resourcing the client’s healing
- Why standard treatment methods often fall flat when a client is fused to their inner critic
- The specific attachment history that can complicate a client’s attempt to silence their critic
- How safety in a relationship could actually be binding a client tighter to their inner critic
Get 3 Bonuses That Give You Even More Strategies to Help Clients Move Forward
Bonus 1 | Adjusting a Shame Posture to Help Quiet the Inner Critic
Bonnie Goldstein, PhD Kelly McGonigal, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD
- One shift in body posture that can impact the way negative thoughts land
- How to safely ease a client out of a shame posture to restore a sense of empowerment
Bonus 2 | How to Work with internalized Criticism from Societal Oppression
Shelly Harrell, PhD
- A two-part strategy to help clients separate their true identity from the hostile messaging of society
- The affirming exercise of hope that can unravel internalized stereotypes
- How to approach issues of discrimination in a way that can help your client experience growth
Bonus 3 | Repairing the Inner Critic in Relationships
Sue Johnson, EdD Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT Ron Siegel, PsyD Kelly McGonigal, PhD
- How to repair a client’s sense of perceived criticism when they feel exposed and vulnerable in a
relationship
- How partners can leverage each other to heal an inner critic
